By Michael Hawkes
•
09 Jul, 2019
Is hitting an acceptable strategy to use when disciplining children? There are many effective ways to teach children discipline that do not require physical punishments like hitting. As parents we are aiming for children who are self-disciplined. Clearly that doesn’t happen overnight. But if we focus on the teaching of self- control that comes from within, the child learns the values and beliefs that are important. Values such as consideration of the feelings of others as this promotes a harmonious society, being part of a team has responsibility because that makes teams work, manners are necessary and help to invoke respect. Mostly, self- discipline comes from the role models within our family. Do I role model being in control of my anger, to be respectful of the feelings of others, even when mine differ? Or do I lie, cheat, hate, over indulge, consider only myself and lack the skills to solve problems. Parents teach their children through their own behaviour. This is much more powerful than physical punishment or smacking which puts the focus on the behaviour that you don’t want. That does not mean that children will never misbehave. You might still have occasions where you want to scream or hide behind the supermarket shelves and pretend that the child is a stranger to you. Children make mistakes. When children are stressed, feel unloved, are tired, bored, sick, unhappy, worried, angry, sorry or upset their brain is not efficient in helping them control their emotions and solve problems. This is when they misbehave. Be proactive, TEACH children the behaviour that you want, use sound strategies that are used consistently and demonstrate self-control. Prepare your children for what is going to happen, consider what needs to happen to make it successful for you and the child. Have activities to keep them interested, role model prior to events “ when we go to the doctors we will wait and sit quietly, then we will go into the room and the doctor will ask you some questions. When we are finished we can have a treat. What would you like to do? ” Praise and encourage when they get it right, even the approximations, “ Good try! ”